


Encounters with the Dead

by my_Blood_is_Iron_and_Stardust



Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:23:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4720904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_Blood_is_Iron_and_Stardust/pseuds/my_Blood_is_Iron_and_Stardust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin has dreams of encounters with all of the people he cares about after their death. If you haven't watch all the way through the Season 5 finale, DO NOT read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Morgana

**MORGANA**

Merlin was standing in Morgana’s chambers in the castle of Camelot. Looking around, he saw her standing by the window staring out at the courtyard below. The lady’s back was to the servant. She was staring out her window sadly.

He knew this was a dream. Morgana was dead and Merlin had long since left Camelot. But seeing her this way made Merlin think it was real. For some reason, he knew it _was real_. Somehow, someway, this was real.

She was dressed in her purple gown with the blue sash. Her face showed none of the malice it held in her last years. Only sadness.

“Morgana,” Merlin said. She didn’t turn.

“Why?” She asked him, quietly.

“Why what?” Merlin prompted her.

She turned and Merlin couldn’t bear the betrayal and hurt in her eyes. But he didn’t look away. He owed it to her not to look away.

“Why did it have to come to this?” she finished.

“I don’t know,” Merlin said. “I blame myself for what you became.”

They were silent for a few moments.

“Why did you do it?” she asked. Her voice cracked at the end, as if she were containing a sob. He didn’t have to ask. He knew exactly what she meant. “We were friends. I could trust you with almost anything. We were the same, even though I didn’t even know how much.”

 “I didn’t want to do it, I swear. But Morgause made you the vessel for that spell that made everyone sleep. The only way to break it was to kill you,” a tear trickled down Merlin’s cheek, “I didn’t want to do it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you that when you came back. I just…I didn’t know how. I hated it.”

“I understand.” Morgana began to cry silently.

She raised her hand to cover her mouth and muffle her sobs. She closed her eyes

Merlin walked over to her and enveloped her in a hug. She pressed her face against his chest.

“I’m so alone here,” Morgana whispered. She sounded … broken. “I’m so alone in death and it’s so dark. Sometimes I feel like its going to swallow me up whole and I’m going to become nothing. Like I’ll just fade away. I’m so alone,” she repeated.

“I love you Morgana, but destiny was more important than all of us. I’m so sorry. But I love you.” He said quietly. He pushed her chin up and made her look at him, smoothing her hair away from her tear-streaked face. “Always have, always will. Wherever you are now, remember that I love you. I will never stop loving you.”

“I know,” Morgan replied, “And I love you, too.”

She pressed her mouth to his and slipped something onto his wrist.

 

When Merlin awoke, he could still taste her salty tears on his lips. He sat up and looked around. He was in his hut in the forest. He sighed and flopped back onto his straw mat. He had let himself believe if only for a second, that he was back in Camelot. With her. With Morgana, his love.

He felt his own tears on his cheeks.

Then he realized there was something cold pressing against his wrist. He raised his arm. On it was Morgana’s bracelet. He smiled sadly. So the dream had been real. But Morgan was still dead.

_I meant what I said, Morgana,_ he thought to himself, _I will always love you. I will be with you again someday._


	2. Arthur

ARTHUR 

Merlin was sitting with his back up against a tree. Across a fire, Arthur was sitting against a log. The king was looking over the sorcerer very intently.   
“I know you don’t like being in Camelot anymore,” he said, “but will you watch over Guinevere for me?”  
“Do you even have to ask?” was Merlin’s response.   
Arthur smiled sadly. “I guess I don’t.”  
They sat silently for a few moments.   
“Tell me everything,” Arthur commanded. “Everything you’ve ever done for me. Everything you’ve lost because of me.”  
Merlin shook his head. “I’m not doing that to you.”  
“Please,” Arthur whispered. “I want to know.   
After a few moments of internal struggle, Merlin consented.   
He moved to the other side of the fire and placed his hands on Arthur’s temples. Closing his eyes, he showed Arthur every one of his memories since he had arrived at Camelot. Despite the speed at which they passed through Arthur’s mind, the emotions attached to each were no less poignant.   
Not five seconds had passed when Merlin opened his eyes, and yet Arthur knew everything.   
“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, “For every time I doubted you, for every time I treated you like you were a coward or nothing more than a servant, for every time saving me has cost someone dear to you. I’m sorry.”  
Merlin was still gripping Arthur’s face in his hands. “It’s not your fault, Arthur,” he said and his voice cracked slightly. “Everything I did for you I did willingly.”  
The warlock released Arthur’s face and relaxed against the trunk next to his king.   
“I had a dream with Morgana the other night. I know these are dreams, but they’re real, too,” Merlin commented, fighting to control his emotions. “It’s been 20 years since you died, Arthur. Why now?”  
“That I cannot tell you,” Arthur replied.   
“Then tell me this,” Merlin continued, “What is it like where you are?”  
“It’s white. All blinding white and nothing else,” Arthur voice was hoarse, sad, “And it’s so lonely. I have no one.”  
They were silent.   
“Has it really been 20 years?” Arthur asked. “I have no perception of time here.”  
“Today was the anniversary of your death,” Merlin replied.   
“How come you don’t look any different?” Arthur asked.   
“Because it is my destiny to wait for you,” was Merlin’s simple reply.   
“I’m dead, Merlin.” Arthur replied somewhat bluntly. “I’m not coming back.”  
“You are not just king, Arthur,” Merlin said as if it should have been obvious. “You are the once and future king. When Albion’s need is greatest, you will return. And I will be here, waiting for you. Waiting with freshly polished armor.” He smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “  
“I meant what I said before you left,” Arthur said suddenly, “You are the bravest person I have ever had the fortune of knowing. Thank you for helping me through all these years, even though I gave you nothing in return.”  
“It was my pleasure,” Merlin replied. Arthur began to fade.   
“Just one thing before I go,” Arthur said, “Why would you wait for me? And don’t give me any of that crap about destiny. I want your real answer. Why would you spend your entire life serving me? Waiting for me?”  
“Because you are my king,” Merlin looked him dead in the eyes, “And I’m your Lionheart.”  
Arthur smiled and then he was gone.   
“You are my king,” Merlin repeated, “And I am your lionheart.”


End file.
